Tl\e  Golden-Breasted 

KOOtOO 


(X 


OY 


THE   GOLDEN-BREASTED   KOOTOO 


THE 

GOLDEN-BREASTED 
KOOTOO 

BY 

LAURA    E.    RICHARDS 

AUTHOR  OF  "CAPTAIN  JANUARY,"  "THE  JOYOUS  STORY 

OF  TOTO,"  "TOTO'S  MERRY  WINTER," 

"LN  MY  NURSERY,"  ETC. 


BOSTON 
LITTLE,  BROWN,  AND   COMPANY 


Copyright,  1SS5, 
Br  ROBERTS  BROTHERS 

Copyright,  1899, 
BY  LITTLE,  BROWN,  AXD  Co. 


All  rights  reserved 


JOHN  WILSON  AND  SON,  ("AMUKIUCK,  U.S.A. 


mi 

1ML 


CONTENTS 

PA<;K 

THE  GOLDEN-BREASTED  KOOTOO        5 

THE  STORY  OF  HOKEY  POKEY 25 

THE  AMBITIOUS  ROCKING-HORSE        40 

"  On,  DEAR  " 44 

THE    TRAVELLER,    THE    COOK,  AND    THK    LITTLE 

OLD  MAN    .  55 


THE 

GOLDEN-BREASTED  KOOTOO. 


PART   I. 

ONCE  upon  a  time  —  and  a  good  time  it 
was  —  there  lived  a  king.  I  do  not 
know  exactly  what  his  name  was,  or  just 
where  he  lived;  but  it  doesn't  matter  at  all: 
his  kingdom  was  somewhere  between  Ashan- 
tee  and  Holland,  and  his  name  sounded  a 
little  like  Samuel,  and  a  little  like  Dolabella, 
and  a  good  deal  like  Chimborazo,  and  yet  it 
was  not  quite  any  of  them.  But,  as  I  said 
before,  it  does  n't  matter.  We  will  call  him 
the  King,  and  that  will  be  all  that  is  neces- 
sary, as  there  is  no  other  king  in  the  story. 

This  King  was  very  fond  of  music ;  in  fact, 
he  was  excessively  fond  of  it.  He  kept  four 
bands  of  music  playing  all  day  long.  The 
first  was  a  brass  band,  the  second  was  a 


6  THE    GOLDEN-BREASTED    KOOTOO. 

string  band,  the  third  was  a  rubber  band, 
and  the  fourth  was  a  man  who  played  on 
the  jews-harp.  (Some  people  thought  he 
ought  not  to  be  called  a  band,  but  he  said 
he  was  all  the  jews-harp  band  there  was, 
and  that  was  very  true.)  The  four  bands 
played  all  day  long  on  the  four  sides  of  the 
grand  courtyard,  and  the  King  sat  on  a 
throne  in  the  middle  and  transacted  affairs 
of  state.  And  when  His  Majesty  went  to 
bed  at  night,  the  grand  chamberlain  wound 
up  a  musical-box  that  was  in  his  pillow, 
and  another  one  in  the  top  bureau-drawer,  and 
they  played  "The  Dog's-meat  Man"  and 
"Pride  of  the  Pirate's  Heart"  till  daylight 
did  appear. 

One  day  it  occurred  to  the  King  that  it 
would  be  an  excellent  plan  for  him  to  learn 
to  sing.  lie  wondered  that  he  had  never 
thought  of  it  before.  "  You  see,"  he  said, 
"  it  would  amuse  me  very  much  to  sing  while 
I  am  out  hunting.  I  cannot  take  the  bands 
with  me  to  the  forest,  for  they  would  frighten 
away  the  wild  beasts ;  and  I  miss  my  music 


THE    GOLDEN-BREASTED    KOOTOO.  7 

very  much  on  such  occasions.     Yes,  decidedly, 
I  will  learn  to  sing." 

So  he  sent  for  the  Chief  Musician,  and 
ordered  him  to  teach  him  to  sing.  The 
Chief  Musician  was  delighted,  and  said  they 
would  begin  at  once.  So  he  sat  down  at 
the  piano,  and  struck  a  note.  "  0  King," 
he  said,  "  please  sing  this  note."  And  the 
Kino;  sang  in  a  loud,  deep  voice,  r/,y  , — q 

LLw^  * 

The  Chief  Musician  was  enchanted-  E_  ^  n 
"  Superb !"  he  cried.  "Magnificent!  Now,  0 
King,  please  to  sing  this  note  !  "  and  he  struck 
another  note :  rfc};  ^  ~~|  The  King  sang, 
in  a  loud,  deep  E —  '  3  voice, 
The  Chief  Musician  looked  grave. 
"  0  King,"  he  said,  "  you  did  not  quite  under- 
stand me.  We  will  try  another  note."  And 
he  struck  another :  F^g1 — ^r~==l  The  King 
sang,  in  a  loud,  ^  deep  voice, 

The  Chief  Musician  looked  de- 
jected.  "I  fear,  0  King,"  he 
said,  "  that  you  can  never  learn  to  sing." 
"What  do  you  mean  by  that,  Chief  Musi- 
cian ?  "  asked  the  King.  "  It  is  your  business 


8 


THE    GOLDEN-BREASTED    KOOTOO. 


to  teach  me  to  sing.  Do  you  not  know  how 
to  teach?"  "No  man  knows  better/'  replied 
the  Chief  Musician.  "  But  Your  Majesty  has 


"  '  Take  this  man  and  behead  him  ! '  said  the  King." 

no  ear  for  music.     You  never  can   sing  but 
one  note." 

At  these  words  the  King  grew  purple  in 
the  face.  He  said  nothing,  for  he  was  a  man 
of  few  words ;  but  he  rang  a  large  bell,  and 


THE    GOLDEN-BREASTED    KOOTOO.  9 

an  executioner  appeared.  "  Take  this  man 
and  behead  him  !  "  said  the  King.  "  And 
send  me  the  Second  Musician  !  " 

The  Second  Musician  came,  looking  very 
grave,  for  he  had  heard  the  shrieks  of  his 
unhappy  superior  as  he  was  dragged  off  to 
execution,  and  he  had  no  desire  to  share  his 
fate.  He  bowed  low,  and  demanded  His 
Majesty's  pleasure.  "  Teach  me  to  sing  !  " 
said  His  Majesty.  So  the  Second  Musician 
sat  down  at  the  piano,  and  tried  several  notes, 
just  as  the  Chief  Musician  had  done,  and  with 
the  same  result.  Whatever  note  was  struck, 


the  King  still  sang    Fg 


Now  the  Second  Musician  was  a  quick- 
witted fellow,  and  he  saw  in  a  moment  what 
the  trouble  had  been-with  his  predecessor,  and 
saw,  too,  what  great  peril  he  was  in  himself. 
So  he  assumed  a  look  of  grave  importance, 
and  said  solemnly,  "  0  King,  this  is  a  very 
serious  matter.  I  cannot  conceal  from  you 
that  there  are  great  obstacles  in  the  way  of 
your  learning  to  sing  —  "  The  King  looked 
at  the  bell.  "  BUT,"  said  the  Second  Musi- 


10  THE    GOLDEN-BREASTED    KOOTOO. 

cian,  "  they  can  be  overcome."  The  King 
looked  away  again.  "  I  beg,"  said  the  Second 
Musician,  "  for  twenty-four  hours'  time  for 
consideration.  At  the  end  of  that  time  I  shall 
have  decided  upon  the  best  method  of  teach- 
ing ;  and  I  am  bound  to  say  this  to  Your 
Majesty,  that  IF  you  learn  to  sing  —  " 
"  WHAT  ? "  said  the  King,  looking  at  the 
bell  again.  "  That  WHEN  you  learn  to  sing," 
said  the  Second  Musician  hastily,  —  "  when 
you  learn  to  sing,  your  singing  will  be  like  no 
other  that  has  ever  been  heard."  This  pleased 
the  King,  and  he  graciously  accorded  the 
desired  delay. 

Accordingly  the  Second  Musician  took  his 
leave  with  great  humility,  and  spent  all  that 
night  and  the  following  day  plunged  in  the 
deepest  thought.  As  soon  as  the  twenty-four 
hours  had  elapsed  he  again  appeared  before 
the  King,  who  was  awaiting  him  impatiently, 
sitting  on  the  music-stool.  '-Well?"  said 
the  King.  "  Quite  well,  0  King,  I  thank 
you,"  replied  the  Second  Musician,  '•though 
somewhat  fatigued  by  my  labors."  "  Pshaw  !  " 


THE    GOLDEN-BREASTED    KOOTOO.  11 

said  the  King  impatiently.  "  Have  you  found 
a  way  of  teaching  me  to  sing ?  "  "I  have,  0 
King,"  replied  the  Second  Musician  solemnly  ; 
u  but  it  is  not  an  easy  way.  Nevertheless  it 
is  the  only  one."  The  King  assured  him  that 
money  was  no  object,  and  begged  him  to 
unfold  his  plan.  "  In  order  to  learn  to  sing," 
said  the  Second  Musician,  "  you  must  eat  a 
pie  composed  of  all  the  singing-birds  in  the 
world.  In  this  way  only  can  the  difficulty  of 
your  having  no  natural  ear  for  music  be  over- 
come. If  a  single  bird  is  omitted,  or  if  you 
do  not  consume  the  whole  pie,  the  charm  will 
have  no  effect.  I  leave  Your  Majesty  to  judge 
of  the  difficulty  of  the  undertaking." 

Difficulty  ?  The  King  would  not  admit 
that  there  was  such  a  word.  He  instantly 
summoned  his  Chief  Huntsman,  and  ordered 
him  to  send  other  huntsmen  to  every  country 
in  the  world,  to  bring  back  a  specimen  of 
every  kind  of  singing-bird.  Accordingly,  as 

ts  O  O  O     t/    ' 

there  were  sixty  countries  in  the  world  at 
that  time,  sixty  huntsmen  started  off  im- 
mediately, fully  armed  and  equipped. 


12  THE    GOLDEN-BREASTED   KOOTOO. 

After  they  were  gone,  the  King,  who  was 
very  impatient,  summoned  his  Wise  Men,  and 
bade  them  look  in  all  the  books,  and  find  out 
how  many  kinds  of  singing-birds  there  were  in 
the  world.  The  Wise  Men  all  put  their  spec- 
tacles on  their  noses,  and  their  noses  into  their 
books,  and  after  studying  a  long  time,  and 
adding  up  on  their  slates  the  number  of  birds 
described  in  each  book,  they  found  that  there 
were  in  all  nine  thousand  nine  hundred  and 
ninety-nine  varieties  of  singing-birds. 

They  made  their  report  to  the  King,  and  he 
was  rather  troubled  by  it ;  for  he  remembered 
that  the  Second  Musician  had  said  he  must 
eat  every  morsel  of  the  pie  himself,  or  the 
charm  would  have  no  effect.  It  would  be  a 
very  large  pie,  he  thought,  with  nine  thousand 
nine  hundred  and  ninety-nine  birds  in  it. 
"  The  only  way,"  he  said  to  himself,  "  will  be 
for  me  to  eat  as  little  as  possible  until  the 
huntsmen  corne  back,  then  I  shall  be  very 
hungry.  I  have  never  been  very  hungry  in 
my  life,  so  there  is  no  knowing  how  much  1 
could  eat  if  I  were."  So  the  King  ate  nothing 


THE    GOLDEN-BKEASTED    KOOTOO.  13 

from  one  week's  end  to  another,  except  bread 
and  dripping ;  and  by  the  time  the  huntsmen 
returned  he  was  so  thin  that  it  was  really 
shocking. 

At  last,  after  a  long  time,  the  sixty  hunts- 
men returned,  laden  down  with  huge  bags, 
the  contents  of  which  they  piled  up  in  a 
great  heap  in  the  middle  of  the  courtyard. 
A  mountain  of  birds !  Such  a  thing  had 
never  been  seen  before.  The  mountain  was 
so  high  that  everybody  thought  the  full 
number  of  birds  must  be  there ;  and  the 
Chief  Cook  began  to  make  his  preparations, 
and  sent  to  borrow  the  garden  roller  from 
John  the  gardener,  as  his  own  was  not  big 
enough  to  roll  out  such  a  quantity  of  paste. 

The  King  and  the  Wise  Men  next  pro- 
ceeded to  count  the  birds.  But  alas !  what 
was  their  sorrow  to  find  that  the  number 
fell  short  by  one !  They  counted  again  and 
again  ;  but  it  was  of  no  use  :  there  were  only 
nine  thousand  nine  hundred  and  ninety-eight 
birds  in  the  pile. 

The  next  thing  was  to  find  out  what  bird 


14  THE   GOLDEN-BREASTED    KOOTOO. 

was  missing.  So  the  Wise  Men  sorted  all  the 
birds,  and  compared  them  with  the  pictures 
in  the  hooks,  and  studied  so  hard  that  they 
wore  out  three  pairs  of  spectacles  apiece  ;  and 
at  last  they  discovered  that  the  missing  bird 
was  the  "  Golden-breasted  Kootoo."  The 
chief  Wise  Man  read  aloud  from  the  biggest 
book :  — 

"  The  Golden-breasted  Kootoo,  the  most 
beautiful  and  the  most  melodious  of  singing 
birds,  is  found  only  in  secluded  parts  of  the 
Vale  of  Coringo.  Its  plumage  is  of  a  bril- 
liant golden  yellow,  except  on  the  back, 
where  it  is  streaked  with  green.  Its  beak 
is  —  " 

"  There  !  there  !  "  interrupted  the  King 
impatiently ;  "  never  mind  about  its  beak. 
Tell  the  Lord  Chamberlain  to  pack  my  best 
wig  and  a  clean  shirt,  and  send  them  after 
me  by  a  courier ;  and,  Chief  Huntsman,  fol- 
low me.  We  start  this  moment  for  the  Vale 
of  Coringo  !  " 

And  actually,  if  you  will  believe  it,  the 
King  did  start  off  in  less  than  an  hour  from 


THE    GOLDEN-BREASTED    KOOTOO. 


15 


the  counting  of  the  birds.  He  rode  on  horse- 
back, and  was  accompanied  only  by  the  Chief 
Huntsman  and  the  jews-harp  band,  the  cou- 


"  He  rode  on  horseback,  and  was  accompanied  only  by  the  Chief 
Huntsman  and  the  jews-harp  band." 

rier  being  obliged  to  wait  for  the  King's  best 
wig  to  be  curled. 

The  poor  Band  had  a  hard  time  of  it ;  for 
he  had  a  very  frisky  horse,  and  found  it  ex- 
tremely difficult  to  manage  the  beast  with 
one  hand  and  hold  the  jews-harp  with  the 


16  THE    GOLDEN-BREASTED    KOOTOO. 

other ;  but  the  King,  with  much  ingenuity, 
fastened  the  head  of  the  horse  to  the  tail  of 
his  own  steady  cob,  thereby  enabling  the 
musician  to  give  all  his  attention  to  his  in- 
strument. The  music  was  a  trifle  jerky  at 
times ;  but  what  of  that  ?  It  was  music, 
and  the  King  was  satisfied. 

They  rode  night  and  day,  and  at  length 
arrived  at  the  Vale  of  Coringo,  and  took 
lodgings  at  the  principal  hotel.  The  King 
was  very  weary,  as  he  had  been  riding  for  a 
week  without  stopping.  So  he  went  to  bed 
at  once,  and  slept  for  two  whole  days. 

On  the  morning  of  the  third  day  he  was 
roused  from  a  wonderful  dream  (in  which  he 
was  singing  a  duet  with  the  Golden-breasted 
Kootoo,  to  a  jews-harp  accompaniment)  by 
the  sound  of  music.  The  King  sat  up  in  bed, 
and  listened.  It  was  a  bird's  song  that  lie 
heard,  and  it  seemed  to  come  from  the  vines 
outside  his  window.  But  what  a  song  it 
was !  And  what  a  bird  it  must  be  that  could 
utter  such  wondrous  sounds  !  He  listened, 
too  enchanted  to  move,  while  the  magical 


THE    GOLDEN-BREASTED    KOOTOO. 


17 


song  swelled  louder  and  clearer,  filling  the 
air  with  melody.  At  last  he  rose,  and  crept 
softly  to  the  window. 
There,  on  a  swinging 
vine,  sat  a  beautiful 
bird,  all  golden  yel- 
low,  with  streaks  of 
green  on  its  back. 


It  was  the 
Golden- 
breasted 
K  o  o  t  o  o  ! 
There  could 
be  no  doubt 

seizing  his  gun,  he  hastily  descended 

the  stairs."  about       it, 

even  if  its  marvellous  song  had  not  announced 
it  as  the  sweetest  singer  of  the  whole  world. 


18  THE    GOLDEN-BREASTED    KOOTOO. 

Very  quietly,  but  trembling  with  excitement, 
the  King  put  on  bis  slippers  and  his  flowered 
dressing-gown,  and  seizing  his  gun,  he  hastily 
descended  the  stairs. 

It  was  early  dawn,  and  nobody  was  awake 
in  the  hotel  except  the  Boots,  who  was  black- 
ing his  namesakes  in  the  back  hall.  He  saw 
the  King  come  down,  and  thought  he  had 
come  to  get  his  boots  ;  but  the  monarch  paid 
no  attention  to  him,  quietly  unbolted  the 
front  door,  and  slipped  out  into  the  garden. 
Was  he  too  late  ?  Had  the  bird  flown  ?  No, 
the  magic  song  still  rose  from  the  vines 
outside  his  chamber-window.  But  even 
now,  as  the  King  approached,  a  fluttering 
was  heard,  and  the  Golden-breasted  Kootoo, 
spreading  its  wings,  flew  slowly  away  over 
the  garden  wall,  and  away  towards  the  moun- 
tain which  rose  just  behind  the  hotel.  The 
King  followed,  clambering  painfully  over  the 
high  wall,  and  leaving  fragments  of  his  bro- 
cade dressing-gown  on  the  sharp  spikes  which 
garnished  it.  Once  over,  he  made  all  speed, 
and  found  that  he  could  well  keep  the  bird 


THE    GOLDEN-BREASTED    KOOTOO.  19 

in  sight,  for  it  was  flying  very  slowly.  A 
provoking  bird  it  was,  to  be  sure !  It  would 
fly  a  little  way,  and  then,  alighting  on  a 
bush  or  hanging  spray,  would  pour  forth  a 
flood  of  melody,  as  if  inviting  its  pursuer  to 
come  nearer ;  but  before  the  unhappy  King 
could  get  within  gunshot,  it  would  flutter 
slowly  onward,  keeping  just  out  of  reach, 
and  uttering  a  series  of  mocking  notes,  which 
seemed  to  laugh  at  his  efforts.  On  and  on 
flew  the  bird,  up  the  steep  mountain ;  on  and 
on  went  the  King  in  pursuit.  It  is  all  very 
well  to  fly  up  a  mountain  ;  but  to  crawl  and 
climb  up,  with  a  heavy  gun  in  one's  hand, 
and  one's  dressing-gown  catching  on  every 
sharp  point  of  rock,  and  the  tassel  of  one's 
nightcap  bobbing  into  one's  eyes,  is  a  very 
different  matter,  I  can  tell  you.  But  the 
King  never  thought  of  stopping  for  an  in- 
stant ;  not  he !  He  lost  first  one  slipper, 
and  then  the  other ;  the  cord  and  tassels  of 
his  dressing-gown  tripped  him  up,  so  that  he 
fell  and  almost  broke  his  nose ;  and  finally 
his  gun  slipped  from  his  hold  and  went 


20  THE    GOLDEN-BREASTED    KOOTOO. 

crashing  down  over  a  precipice ;  but  still 
the  King  climbed  on  and  on,  breathless  but 
undaunted. 

At  length,  at  the  very  top  of  the  moun- 
tain, as  it  seemed,  the  bird  made  a  longer 
pause  than  usual.  It  lighted  on  a  point  of 
rock,  and  folding  its  wings,  seemed  really  to 
wait  for  the  King,  singing,  meanwhile,  a 
song  of  the  most  inviting  and  encouraging 
description.  Nearer  and  nearer  crept  the 
King,  and  still  the  bird  did  not  move.  He 
was  within  arm's  length,  and  was  just  stretch- 
ing out  his  arm  to  seize  the  prize,  when  it 
fluttered  off  the  rock.  Frantic  with  excite- 
ment, the  King  made  a  desperate  clutch  after 
it,  and  — 


PART  II. 

AT  eight  o'clock  the  landlady  knocked  at 
the  King's  door.  "  Hot  water,  Your 
Majesty,"  she  said.  "  Shall  I  bring  the  can 
in  ?  And  the  Band  desires  his  respects,  and 
would  you  wish  him  to  play  while  you  are 
a-dressing,  being  as  you  didn't  bring  a  music- 
box  with  you  ?  " 

Receiving  no  answer,  after  knocking  several 
times,  the  good  woman  opened  the  door  very 
cautiously,  and  peeped  in,  fully  expecting  to 
see  the  royal  night-cap  reposing  calmly  on 
the  pillow.  What  was  her  amazement  at 
finding  the  room  empty ;  no  sign  of  the  King 
was  to  be  seen,  although  his  pink-silk  knee- 
breeches  lay  on  a  chair,  and  his  ermine 
mantle  and  his  crown  were  hanging  on  a 
peg  against  the  wall. 

The  landlady  gave  the  alarm  at  once.  The 
King  had  disappeared  !  He  had  been  robbed, 
murdered  j  the  assassins  had  chopped  him  up 


22  THE    GOLDEN-BREASTED   KOOTOO. 

into  little  pieces  and  carried  him  away  in 
a  bundle-handkerchief  !  "  Murder !  police  ! 
fire!  Ill" 

In  the  midst  of  the  wild  confusion  the 
voice  of  the  Boots  was  heard.  "  Please,  'in, 
I  see  His  Majesty  go  out  at  about  five  o'clock 
this  morning." 

Again  the  chorus  rose :  he  had  run  away ; 
he  had  gone  to  surprise  and  slay  the  King  of 
Coringo  while  he  was  taking  his  morning 
chocolate;  he  had  gone  to  take  a  bath  in 
the  river,  and  was  drowned !  "  Murder ! 
police ! " 

The  voice  of  the  Boots  was  heard  again. 
"  And  please,  'm,  he 's  a  sittin'  out  in  the 
courtyard  now;  and  please,  'm,  I  think  he's 
crazy ! " 

Out  rushed  everybody,  pell-mell,  into  the 
courtyard.  There,  on  the  ground,  sat  the 
King,  with  his  tattered  dressing-gown  wrapped 
majestically  about  him.  An  ecstatic  smile 
illuminated  his  face,  while  he  clasped  in  his 
arms  a  larcre  bird  with  shining  plumage. 

o  O    i  O 

••'  Bless    me  !  "     cried    the     poultry-woman. 


THE    GOLDEN-BREASTED    KOOTOO.  23 

"  If  he  has  n't  got  my  Shanghai  rooster  that 
I  could  n't  catch  last  night !  " 

The  King,  hearing  voices,  looked  round, 
and  smiled  graciously  on  the  astonished  crowd. 
"  Good  people,"  he  said,  "  success  has  crowned 
my  efforts.  I  have  found  the  Golden-breasted 
Kootoo !  You  shall  all  have  ten  pounds 
apiece,  in  honor  of  this  joyful  event,  and 
the  landlady  shall  be  made  a  baroness  in 
her  own  right !  " 

"  But,"  said  the  poultry-woman,  "  it  is  my 
Shang  — " 

"  Be  still,  you  idiot !  "  whispered  the  land- 
lady, putting  her  hand  over  the  woman's 
mouth.  "  Do  you  want  to  lose  your  ten  pounds 
and  your  head  too  ?  If  the  King  has  caught 
the  Golden-breasted  Kootoo,  why,  then  it  is 
the  Golden-breasted  Kootoo,  as  sure  as  I  am 
a  baroness !  "  and  she  added  in  a  still  lower 
tone,  "  There  has  n't  been  a  Kootoo  seen  in 
the  Vale  for  ten  years ;  the  birds  have  died 
out." 

Great  were  the  rejoicings  at  the  palace 
when  the  King  returned  in  triumph,  bringing 


24  THE    GOLDEN-BREASTED    KOOTOO. 

with  him  the  much-coveted  prize,  the  Golden- 
breasted  Kootoo.  The  bands  played  until 
they  almost  killed  themselves ;  the  cooks 
waved  their  ladles  and  set  to  work  at  once  on 
the  pie  ;  the  huntsmen  sang  hunting-songs. 
All  was  joy  and  rapture,  except  in  the  breast 
of  one  man;  that  man  was  the  Second  Musi- 
cian, or,  as  we  should  now  call  him,  the  Chief 
Musician.  He  felt  no  thrill  of  joy  at  sight  of 
the  wondrous  bird  ;  on  the  contrary,  he  made 
his  will,  and  prepared  to  leave  the  country  at 
once  ;  but  when  the  pie  was  finished,  and  he 
saw  its  huge  dimensions,  he  was  comforted. 
"No  man,"  he  said  to  himself,  "can  eat  the 
whole  of  that  pie  and  live  !  " 

Alas  !  he  was  right.  The  unhappy  King 
fell  a  victim  to  his  musical  ambition  before 
he  had  half  finished  his  pie,  and  died  in  a  fit. 
His  subjects  ate  the  remainder  of  the  mighty 
pasty,  with  mingled  tears  and  smiles,  as  a 
memorial  feast ;  and  if  the  Golden-breasted 
Kootoo  was  a  Shanghai  rooster,  nobody  in  the 
kingdom  was  ever  the  wiser  for  it. 


THE   STORY   OF   HOKEY   POKEY. 

HOKEY  POKEY  was  the  youngest  of  a 
large  family  of  children.  His  elder 
brothers,  as  they  grew  up,  all  became  either 
butchers  or  bakers  or  makers  of  candlesticks, 
for  such  was  the  custom  of  the  family.  But 
Hokey  Pokey  would  be  none  of  these  things  ; 
so  when  he  was  grown  to  be  a  tall  youth  he 
went  to  his  father  and  said,  "  Give  me  my 
fortune." 

"  Will  you  be  a  butcher  ?  "  asked  his  father. 

"  No  !  "  said  Hokey  Pokey. 

"Will  you  be  a  baker?" 

"No,  again." 

"  Will  you  make  candlesticks  ?  " 

"Nor  that  either!  " 

"  Then,"  said  his  father,  "  this  is  the  only 
fortune  I  can  give  you  ;  "  and  with  that  he 
took  up  his  cudgel  and  gave  the  youth  a  stout 
beating.  "  Now  you  cannot  complain  that  I 
gave  you  nothing  !  "  said  he. 


26  THE    STORY    OF    HOKEY    POKEY. 

"  That  is  true  !  "  said  Hokey  Pokey.  "  But 
give  me  also  the  wooden  mallet  which  lies  on 
the  shelf,  and  I  will  make  my  way  through 
the  world." 

His  father  gave  him  the  mallet,  glad  to  be 
so  easily  rid  of  him,  and  Ilokey  Pokey  went 
out  into  the  world  to  seek  his  fortune.  He 
walked  all  day,  and  at  nightfall  he  came  to  a 
small  village.  Feeling  hungry,  he  went  into 
a  baker's  shop,  intending  to  buy  a  loaf  of 
bread  for  his  supper.  There  was  a  great 
noise  and  confusion  in  the  back  part  of  the 
shop  ;  and  on  going  to  see  what  was  the 
matter,  he  found  the  baker  on  his  knees 
beside  a  large  box  or  chest,  which  he  was 
trying  with  might  and  main  to  keep  shut. 
But  there  was  something  inside  the  box  which 
was  trying  just  as  hard  to  get  out,  and  it 
screamed  and  kicked,  and  pushed  the  lid  up 
as  often  as  the  baker  shut  it  down. 

"  What  have  you  there  in  the  box  ?  "  asked 
Hokey  Pokey. 

"  I  have  my  wife,"  replied  the  baker. 
'•  She  is  so  frightfully  ill-tempered  that  when- 


THE    STORY    OF    HOKEY    POKEY.  27 

ever  I  am  going  to  bake  bread  I  am  obliged 
to  shut  her  up  in  this  box,  lest  she  push  me 
into  the  oven  and  bake  me  with  the  bread, 
as  she  has  often  threatened  to  do.  But 
to-day  she  has  broken  the  lock  of  the  box, 
and  I  know  not  how  to  keep  her  down." 

"That  is  easily  managed,"  said  Hokey 
Pokey.  "  Do  you  but  tell  her,  when  she  asks 
who  I  am,  that  I  am  a  giant  with  three  heads, 
and  all  will  be  well."  So  saying,  he  took  his 
wooden  mallet  and  dealt  three  tremendous 
blows  on  the  box,  saying  in  a  loud  voice,  — 

"  Hickory  Hox ! 
I  sit  by  the  box, 
Waiting  to  give  you  a  few  of  my  knocks." 

"  Husband,  husband !  whom  have  you 
there  ?"  cried  the  wife  in  terror. 

"  Alas  !  "  said  the  baker  ;  "  it  is  a  frightful 
giant  with  three  heads.  He  is  sitting  by  the 
box,  and  if  you  open  it  so  much  as  the  width 
of  your  little  finger,  he  will  pull  you  out  and 
beat  you  to  powder." 

When  the  wife  heard  that  she  crouched 
down  in  the  box,  and  said  never  a  word,  for 
she  was  afraid  of  her  life. 


28  THE    STORY    OF    HOKEY    POKEY. 

The  baker  then  took  Hokey  Pokey  into 
the  other  part  of  the  shop,  thanked  him 
warmly,  and  gave  him  a  good  supper  and  a 
bed.  The  next  morning  he  gave  him  for  a 
present  the  finest  loaf  of  bread  in  his  shop, 
which  was  shaped  like  a  large  round  ball  ; 
and  Hokey  Pokey,  after  knocking  once  more 
on  the  lid  of  the  box,  continued  his  travels. 

He  had  not  gone  far  before  he  came  to 
another  village,  and  wishing  to  inquire  his 
way  he  entered  the  first  shop  he  came  to, 
which  proved  to  be  that  of  a  confectioner. 
The  shop  was  full  of  the  most  beautiful  sweet- 
meats imaginable,  and  everything  was  bright 
and  gay ;  but  the  confectioner  himself  sat 
upon  a  bench,  weeping  bitterly. 

"  What  ails  you,  friend  ?  "  asked  Hokey 
Pokey  ;  "  and  why  do  you  weep,  when  you  are 
surrounded  by  the  most  delightful  things  in 
the  world  ? " 

"  Alas  !  "  replied  the  confectioner.  "  That 
is  just  the  cause  of  my  trouble.  The  sweet- 
meats that  I  make  are  so  good  that  their 
fame  has  spread  far  and  wide,  and  the  Rat 


THE    STORY    OF    HOKEY    POKEY.  29 

King,  hearing  of  them,  has  taken  up  his 
abode  in  my  cellar.  Every  night  he  conies 
up  and  eats  all  the  sweetmeats  I  have  made 
the  day  before.  There  is  no  comfort  in  my 
life,  and  I  am  thinking  of  becoming  a  rope- 
maker  and  hanging  myself  with  the  first 
rope  I  make." 

'•'Why  don't  you  set  a  trap  for  him?" 
asked  Hokey  Pokey. 

"  I  have  set  fifty-nine  traps,"  replied  the 
confectioner,  "  but  he  is  so  strong  that  he 
breaks  them  all." 

"  Poison  him,"  suggested  Hokey  Pokey. 

"  He  dislikes  poison,"  said  the  confectioner, 
"  and  will  not  take  it  in  any  form." 

"  In  that  case,"  said  Hokey  Pokey,  "  leave 
him  to  me.  Go  away,  and  hide  yourself  for 
a  few  minutes,  and  all  will  be  well." 

The  confectioner  retired  behind  a  large 
screen,  having  first  showed  Hokey  Pokey  the 
hole  of  the  Rat  King,  which  was  certainly  a 
very  large  one.  Hokey  Pokey  sat  down  by 
the  hole,  with  his  mallet  in  his  hand,  and  said 
in  a  squeaking  voice,  — 


30  THE   STORY   OF   HOKEY    POKEY. 

"Batly  King  !  Kingly  Eat ! 
Here  your  mate  comes  pit-a-pat. 
Come  and  see  ;  the  way  is  free  ; 
Hear  my  signal :  one  !  two  !  three !  " 


"The  confectioner  thanked  him  warmlv." 

And  he  scratched  three  times  on  the  floor. 
Almost  immediately  the  head  of  a  rat  popped 
np  through  the  hole.  He  was  a  huge  rat, 
quite  as  large  as  a  cat ;  but  his  size  was  no 
help  to  him,  for  as  soon  as  he  appeared,  Ilokey 


THE   STORY   OF   HOKEY   POKEY.  31 

Pokey  dealt  him  such  a  blow  with  his  mallet 
that  he  fell  down  dead  without  even  a  squeak. 
Then  Hokey  Pokey  called  the  confectioner, 
who  came  out  from  behind  the  screen  and 
thanked  him  warmly  ;  he  also  bade  him  choose 
anything  he  liked  in  the  shop,  in  payment  for 
his  services. 

"  Can  you  match  this  ? "  asked  Hokey 
Pokey,  showing  his  round  ball  of  bread. 

"That  can  1!"  said  the  confectioner;  and 
he  brought  out  a  most  beautiful  ball,  twice  as 
large  as  the  loaf,  composed  of  the  finest  sweet- 
meats in  the  world,  red  and  yellow  and  white. 
Hokey  Pokey  took  it  with  many  thanks,  and 
then  went  on  his  way. 

The  next  day  he  came  to  a  third  village, 
in  the  streets  of  which  the  people  were  all 
running  to  and  fro  in  the  wildest  confusion. 

"  What  is  the  matter  ? "  asked  Hokey 
Pokey,  as  one  man  ran  directly  into  his 
arms. 

'•Alas!"  replied  the  man.  "A  wild  bull 
has  got  into  the  principal  china-shop,  and  is 
breaking;  all  the  beautiful  dishes." 


32  THE    STORY    OF    HOKEY    POKEY. 

"  Why  do  you  not  drive  him  out  ?  "  asked 
.  Hokey  Pokey. 

"  We  are  afraid  to  do  that,"  said  the  man ; 
"  but  we  are  running  up  and  down  to  express 
our  emotion  and  sympathy,  and  that  is  some- 
thing." 

"  Show  me  the  china-shop !  "  said  Hokey 
Pokey. 

So  the  man  showed  him  the  china-shop ; 
and  there,  sure  enough,  was  a  furious  bull, 
making  most  terrible  havoc.  He  was  dancing 
up  and  down  on  a  Dresden  dinner  set,  and 
butting  at  the  Chinese  mandarins,  and  switch- 
ing down  finger-bowls  and  tea-pots  with  his 
tail,  bellowing  meanwhile  in  the  most  out- 
rageous manner.  The  floor  was  covered  with 
broken  crockery,  and  the  whole  scene  was 
melancholy  to  behold. 

Now  when  Hokey  Pokey  saw  this,  he  said 
to  the  owner  of  the  china-shop,  who  was  tear- 
ing his  hair  in  a  frenzy  of  despair,  "  Stop  tear- 
ing your  hair,  which  is  indeed  a  senseless 
occupation,  and  I  will  manage  this  matter  for 
you.  Bring  me  a  red  cotton  umbrella,  and  all 
will  yet  be  well." 


THE  STORY  OF  HOKEY  POKEY.     33 

So  the  china-shop  man  brought  him  a  red 
cotton  umbrella,  and  Hokey  Pokey  began  to 
open  and  shut  it  violently  in  front  of  the 
door.  When  the  bull  saw  that,  he  stopped 
dancing  on  the  Dresden  dinner  set  and  came 
charging  out  of  the  shop,  straight  towards  the 
red  umbrella.  When  he  came  near  enough, 
Hokey  Pokey  dropped  the  umbrella,  and  rais- 
ing his  wooden  mallet  hit  the  bull  such  a  blow 
on  the  muzzle  that  he  fell  down  dead,  and 
never  bellowed  again. 

The  people  all  flung  up  their  hats,  and 
cheered,  and  ran  up  and  down  all  the  more, 
to  express  their  gratification.  As  for  the  china- 
shop  man,  he  threw  his  arms  round  Hokey 
Pokey's  neck,  called  him  his  cherished  pre- 
server, and  bade  him  choose  anything  that  was 
left  in  his  shop  in  payment  for  his  services. 

"  Can  you  match  these  ? "  asked  Hokey 
Pokey,  holding  up  the  loaf  of  bread  and  the 
ball  of  sweetmeats. 

"  That  can  I,"  said  the  shop-man  ;  and  he 
brought  out  a  huge  ball  of  solid  ivorv,  inlaid 

O  O  iJ   / 

with  gold    and    silver,    and    truly   lovely   to 


34  THE    STORY    OF    IIOKEY    POKEY. 

behold.  It  was  very  heavy,  being  twice  as 
large  as  the  ball  of  sweetmeats ;  but  Hokey 
Pokey  took  it,  and,  after  thanking  the  shop- 
man and  receiving  his  thanks  in  return,  he 
proceeded  on  his  way. 

After  walking  for  several  days,  he  came 
to  a  fair,  large  castle,  in  front  of  which  sat 
,a  man  on  horseback.  When  the  man  saw 
Hokey  Pokey,  he  called  out, — 

"  Who  are  you,  and  what  do  you  bring  to 
the  mighty  Dragon,  lord  of  this  castle  ?  " 

"  Hokey  Pokey  is  my  name,"  replied  the 
youth,  "  and  strange  things  do  I  bring.  But 
what  does  the  mighty  Dragon  want,  for 
example  ?  " 

"  He  wants  something  new  to  eat,"  said 
the  man  on  horseback.  "  He  has  eaten  of 
everything  that  is  known  in  the  world,  and 
pines  for  something  new.  He  who  brings 
him  a  new  dish,  never  before  tasted  by  him, 
shall  have  a  thousand  crowns  and  a  new 
jacket ;  but  he  who  fails,  after  three  trials, 
shall  have  his  jacket  taken  away  from  him, 
and  his  head  cut  off  besides." 


THE    STORY    OF    HOKEY    POKEY.  O-J 

"I  bring  strange  food,"  said  Hokey  Pokey. 
"  Let  me  pass  in,  that  I  may  serve  the  mighty 
Dragon." 

Then  the  man  on  horseback  lowered  his 
lance,  and  let  him  pass  in,  and  in  short 
space  he  came  before  the  mighty  Dragon. 
The  Dragon  sat  on  a  silver  throne,  with  a 
golden  knife  in  one  hand,  and  a  golden  fork 
in  the  other.  Around  him  were  many  peo- 
ple, who  offered  him  dishes  of  every  descrip- 
tion ;  but  he  would  none  of  them,  for  he  had 
tasted  them  all  before ;  and  he  howled  with 
hunger  on  his  silver  throne.  Then  came 
forward  Hokey  Pokey,  and  said  boldly,  — 

"  Here  come  I,  Hokey  Pokey,  bringing 
strange  food  for  the  mighty  Dragon." 

The  Dragon  howled  again,  arid  waving 
his  knife  and  fork,  bade  Hokey  Pokey  give 
the  food  to  the  attendants,  that  they  might 
serve  him. 

'•'Not  so,"  said  Hokey  Pokey.  "I  must 
serve  you  myself,  most  mighty  Dragon,  else 
you  shall  not  taste  of  my  food.  Therefore 
put  down  your  knife  and  fork,  and  open  your 


36  THE    STORY   OF    HOKEY    POKEY. 

mouth,  and  you  shall  see  what  you  shall 
see." 

So  the  Dragon,  after  summoning  the  man- 
with-the-thousand-crowns  and  the  man-with- 
the-new-jacket  to  one  side  of  his  throne, 
and  the  man-to-take-away-the-old-jacket  and 
the  executioner  to  the  other,  laid  down  his 
knife  and  fork  and  opened  his  mouth.  Hokey 
Pokey  stepped  lightly  forward,  and  dropped 
the  round  loaf  down  the  great  red  throat. 
The  Dragon  shut  his  jaws  together  with  a 
snap,  and  swallowed  the  loaf  in  two  gulps. 

"  That  is  good."  he  said ;  "  but  it  is  not 
new.  I  have  eaten  much  bread,  though  never 
before  in  a  round  loaf.  Have  you  anything 
more  ?  Or  shall  the  man  take  away  your 
jacket  ?  " 

"  I  have  this,  an  it  please  you,"  said  Hokey 
Pokey ;  and  he  dropped  the  ball  of  sweet- 
meats into  the  Dragon's  mouth. 

"When  the  Dragon  tasted  this,  he  rolled 
his  eyes  round  and  round,  and  was  speechless 
with  delight  for  some  time.  At  length  he 
said,  "  Worthy  youth,  this  is  very  good  j  it 


THE    STORY    OF    HOKET    POKEY.  37 

is  extremely  good  ;  it  is  better  than  anything 
I  ever  tasted.  Nevertheless,  it  is  not  new ; 
for  I  have  tasted  the  same  kind  of  thing 
before,  only  not  nearly  so  good.  And  now, 
unless  you  are  positively  sure  that  you  have 
something  new  for  your  third  trial,  you 
really  might  as  well  take  off  your  jacket ; 
and  the  executioner  shall  take  off  your  head 
at  the  same  time,  as  it  is  getting  rather  late. 
Executioner,  do  your — •" 

"  Craving  your  pardon,  most  mighty 
Dragon,"  said  Hokey  Pokey,  "  I  will  first 
make  my  third  trial ; "  and  with  that  he 
dropped  the  ivory  ball  into  the  Dragon's 
mouth. 

"  Gug-wugg-gllll-grrr  !  "  said  the  Dragon, 
for  the  ball  had  stuck  fast,  being  too  big  for 
him  to  swallow. 

Then  Hokey  Pokey  lifted  his  mallet  and 
struck  one  tremendous  blow  upon  the  ball, 
driving  it  far  down  the  throat  of  the  monster, 
and  killing  him  most  fatally  dead.  He  rolled 
off  the  throne  like  a  scaly  log,  and  his  crown 
fell  off  and  rolled  to  Hokey  Pokey's  feet.  The 


38 


THE    STORY    OF    HOKEY    POKEY. 


youth  picked  it  up  and  put  it  on  his  own 
head,  and  then  called  the  people  about  him 
and  addressed  them. 


'"People/  he  said,  <  I  am  Hokoy  Pokey.' " 

"  People,"  he  said,  '•'  I  am  Hokey  Pokey, 
and  I  have  come  from  a  far  land  to  rule  over 
you.  Your  Dragon  have  I  slain,  and  now  I 
am  your  king ;  and  if  you  will  always  do 
exactly  what  I  tell  you  to  do,  you  will  have 
no  further  trouble." 

So  the  people  threw  up  their  caps  and 
cried,  "  Long  live  Hokey  Pokey  !  "  and  they 


THE    STORY    OF    HOKEY    POKEY.  39 

always    did    exactly   as   he    told   them,    and 
had  no  further  trouble. 

And  Hokey  Pokey  sent  for  his  three 
brothers,  and  made  them  Chief  Butcher,  Chief 
Baker,  and  Chief  Candlestick-maker  of  his 
kingdom.  But  to  his  father  he  sent  a  large 
cudgel  made  of  pure  gold,  with  these  words 
engraved  on  it :  "  Now  you  cannot  complain 
that  I  have  given  you  nothing  !  " 


THE  AMBITIOUS  ROCKING-HORSE. 

THERE  was  once  a  rocking-horse,  but  he 
did  not  want  to  be  a  rocking-horse. 
He  wanted  to  be  a  trotter. 

He  went  to  a  jockey  and  asked  him  if  he 
would  like  to  buy  a  trotter. 

"  Where  is  your  trotter  ?  "  asked  the  jockey. 

"  Me  's  him  !  "  said  the  rocking-horse.  That 
was  all  the  grammar  he  knew. 

"Oh!"  said  the  jockey.  ''You  are  the 
trotter,  eh  ?  " 

"  Yes,"  said  the  rocking-horse.  "  What 
will  you  give  me  for  myself?" 

"  A  bushel  of  shavings,"  said  the  jockey. 

The  rocking-horse  thought  that  was  better 

o  o 

than  nothing,  so  he  sold  himself.  Then  the 
jockey  took  him  to  another  jockey  who  was 
blind,  and  told  him  (the  blind  jockey)  that 
this  was  the  Sky-born  Snorter  of  the  Sarsapa- 
rillas,  and  that  he  could  trot  two  miles  in  a 


THE   AMBITIOUS    ROCKING-HORSE.  41 

minute.    So  the  blind  jockey  bought  him,  and 
paid  ten  thousand  dollars  for  him. 

There   was  a  race  the  next  day,  and   the 
blind  jockey  took  the  Sky-born  Snorter  to  the 


"  '  Me  's  him,'  said  the  rocking-horse." 

race-course,  and  started  him  with  the  other 
horses.  The  other  horses  trotted  away  round 
the  course,  but  the  Sky-born  Snorter  stayed 
just  where  he  was,  arid  rocked  :  and  when  the 
other  horses  came  round  the  turn,  there  he 
was  waiting  for  them  at  the  judge's  stand. 
So  he  won  the  race  ;  and  the  judge  gave  the 


42  THE    AMBITIOUS    ROCKING-HORSE. 

prize,  which  was  a  white  buffalo,  to  the  blind 
jockey. 

The  jockey  put  the  Sky-born  Snorter  in  the 
stable,  and  then  went  to  get  his  white  buffalo ; 
and  while  he  was  gone,  the  other  jockeys  came 
into  the  stable  to  see  the  new  horse. 

"  Why,  he's  a  rocking-horse  !  "  said  one  of 
them. 

"  Hush  !  "  said  the  Sky-born  Snorter.  "  Yes, 
I  am  a  rocking-horse,  but  don't  tell  my  master. 
He  does  n't  know  it,  and  he  paid  ten  thousand 
dollars  for  me." 

"  Whom  did  he  pay  it  to  ? "  asked  the 
jockeys. 

"  To  the  other  jockey,  who  bought  me  from 
myself,"  replied  the  Snorter. 

"  Oh  !  and  what  did  he  give  for  you  ?  " 

"  A  bushel  of  shavings,"  said  the  Snorter. 

"  Ah  !  "  said  one  of  the  jockeys.  "  A  bushel 
of  shavings,  eh  ?  Now,  how  would  you  like 
to  have  those  shavings  turned  into  gold  ?  " 

"  Very  much  indeed  !  "  cried  the  Sky-born. 

"  Well,"  said  the  jockey,  "  bring  them  here, 
and  we  will  change  them  for  you." 


THE    AMBITIOUS    EOCKING-HOESE.  43 

So  the  rocking-horse  went  and  fetched  the 
shavings,  and  the  jockeys  set  fire  to  them. 
The  flames  shot  up,  bright  and  yellow. 

"See!"  cried  the  jockeys.  "The  shav- 
ings are  all  turned  into  gold.  Now  we  will 
see  what  we  can  do  for  you."  And  they 
took  the  Sky-born  Snorter  and  put  him  in 
the  fire,  and  he  turned  into  gold  too,  and  was 
all  burned  up.  And  the  blind  jockey  drove 
the  white  buffalo  all  the  rest  of  his  life,  and 
never  knew  the  difference. 

Moral :  Don't  be  ambitious  ! 


"OH,   DEAR!" 

CHIMBORAZO  was  a  very  unhappy  boy. 
He  pouted,  and  he  sulked,  and  he  said, 
"  Oh,  dear!  oh,  dear  !  oh,  dear  !  oh,  dear !  "  He 
said  it  till  everybody  was  tired  of  hearing  it. 

"  Chirnborazo,"  his  mother  would  say, 
"  please  don't  say,  l  Oh,  dear !  '  any  more. 
It  is  very  annoying.  Say  something  else." 

"Oh,  dear!"  the  boy  would  answer,  "I 
can't !  I  don't  know  anything  else  to  say. 
Oh,  dear  !  Oh,  dear ! !  oh,  DEAR  !  ! !  " 

One  day  his  mother  could  not  bear  it 
any  longer,  and  she  sent  for  his  fairy  god- 
mother, and  told  her  all  about  it. 

"  Humph  !  "  said  the  fairy  godmother.  4i  1 
will  see  to  it.  Send  the  boy  to  me !  " 

So  Chimborazo  was  sent  for,  and  came, 
hanging  his  head  as  usual.  When  he  saw 
his  fairy  godmother,  he  said,  "  Oh,  dear  !  "  for 
he  was  rather  afraid  of  her. 


"  OH,    DEAR  !  "  45 

"  ( Oh,  dear ! '  it  is  !  "  said  the  godmother 
sharply  ;  and  she  put  on  her  spectacles  and 
looked  at  him.  ."  Do  you  know  what  a  bell- 
punch  is  ? " 

"Oil,  dear!"  said  Chimborazo.  "No, 
ma'am,  I  don't !  " 

"  Well,"  said  the  godmother,  "  I  am  going 
to  give  you  one." 

"  Oh,  dear !  "  said  Chimborazo,  "  I  don't 
want  one." 

"  Probably  not,"  replied  she,  "  but  that 
does  n't  make  much  difference.  You  have 
it  now,  in  your  jacket  pocket." 

Chimborazo  felt  in  his  pocket,  and  took 
out  a  queer-looking  instrument  of  shining 
metal.  "  Oh,  dear  !  "  he  said. 

"  '  Oh,  dear  !  '  it  is  !  "  said  the  fairy  god- 
mother. "  Now,"  she  continued,  "  listen  to  me, 
Chimborazo  !  I  am  going  to  put  you  on  an 
allowance  of  '  Oh,  clears.'  This  is  a  self-act- 
ing bell-punch.,  and  it  will  ring  whenever 
.you  say  'Oh,  dear!'  How  many  times  do 
you  generally  say  it  in  the  course  of  the 
day?" 


46  "OH,  DEAR!" 

"  Oh,  dear !  "  said  Chimborazo,  "  I  don't 
know.  Oh,  dear !  " 

"  Ting  !  tiny ! "  the  bell-punch  rang  twice 
sharply ;  and  looking  at  it  in  dismay,  he  saw 
two  little  round  holes  punched  in  a  long  slip 
of  pasteboard  which  was  fastened  to  the 
instrument. 

"  Exactly  !  "  said  the  fairy.  "  That  is  the 
way  it  works,  and  a  very  pretty  way,  too. 
Now,  my  boy,  I  am  going  to  make  you  a 
very  liberal  allowance.  You  may  say  l  Oh, 
dear  ! '  forty-five  times  a  day.  There  's  lib- 
erality for  you !  " 

"  Oh,  dear  !  "  cried  Chimborazo,  "I  —  " 

"  Ting  !  "  said  the  bell-punch. 

"  You  see  !  "  observed  the  fairy.  "  Nothing 
could  be  prettier.  You  have  now  had  three 
of  this  day's  allowance.  It  is  still  some  hours 
before  noon,  so  I  advise  you  to  be  careful. 
If  you  exceed  the  allowance  —  Here  she 
paused,  and  glowered  through  her  spectacles 
in  a  very  dreadful  manner. 

"Oh,  dear!"  cried  Chimborazo.  "What 
will  happen  then  ?  " 


"OH,  DEAR!"  47 

"You  will  see!  "  said  the  fairy  godmother, 
with  a  nod.  "  Something  will  happen,  you 
may  be  very  sure  of  that.  Good-by.  Re- 
member, only  forty-five  !  "  And  away  she 
flew  out  of  the  window. 

"Oh,  dear!"  cried  Chimborazo,  bursting 
into  tears.  "  I  don't  want  it !  I  won't  have 
it !  Oh,  dear  !  oh,  dear  !  oh,  dear  !  oh,  dear! 
oh,  DEAR  ! ! ! " 

"  Ting  !  ting  !  ting-ting-ting-//;^  /  "  said  the 
bell-punch ;  and  now  there  were  ten  round 
holes  in  the  strip  of  pasteboard.  Chimborazo 
was  now  really  frightened.  He  was  silent 
for  some  time  ;  and  when  his  mother  called 
him  to  his  lessons  he  tried  very  hard  not  to 
say  the  dangerous  words.  But  the  habit  was 
so  strong  that  he  said  them  unconsciously. 
By  dinner-time  there  were  twenty-five  holes 
in  the  cardboard  strip ;  by  tea-time  there 
were  forty  !  Poor  Chimborazo  !  he  was  afraid 
to  open  his  lips,  for  whenever  he  did  the 
words  would  slip  out  in  spite  of  him. 

-•  Well,  Chirnbo,"  said  his  father  after 
tea,  -'  I  hear  you  have  had  a  visit  from 


48  "OH,  DEAR!" 

your  fairy    godmother.     What    did    she    say 
to  you,  eh?" 

"Oh,  dear!"  said  Chimborazo,  "she  said 
—  oh,  dear!  I've  said  it  again!" 

"  She  said,  '  Oh,  dear !  I  've  said  it 
again  ! '  "  repeated  his  father.  "  What  do  you 
mean  by  that  ?  " 

"Oh,  dear!  I  didn't  mean  that,"  cried 
Chimborazo  hastily ;  and  again  the  inexo- 
rable bell  rang,  and  he  knew  that  another 
hole  was  punched  in  the  fatal  cardboard. 
He  pressed  his  lips  firmly  together,  and  did 
not  open  them  again  except  to  say  "  Good- 
night," until  he  was  safe  in  his  own  room. 
Then  he  hastily  drew  the  hated  bell-punch 
from  his  pocket,  and  counted  the  holes  in  the 
strip  of  cardboard  ;  there  were  forty-three  ! 
"  Oh,  dear  !  "  cried  the  boy,  forgetting  himself 
again  in  his  alarm,  "  only  two  more  !  Oh, 
dear  !  oh.  DEAR  !  I  've  done  it  again  !  oh  — 
"Ting  !  ting  !  "  went  the  bell-punch  ;  and  the 
cardboard  was  punched  to  the  end.  "  Oh, 
dear!  "  cried  Chimborazo,  now  beside  himself 
with  terror.  "  Oh,  dear  !  oh,  dear  !  oh,  dear  ! 
oh,  dear  ! !  what  will  become  of  me  ?  " 


"OH,  DEAR!"  49 

A  strange  whirring  noise  was  heard,  then 
a  loud  clang ;  and  the  next  moment  the  bell- 
punch,  as  if  it  were  alive,  flew  out  of  his  hand, 
out  of  the  window,  and  was  gone  ! 

Chimborazo  stood  breathless  with  terror 
for  a  few  minutes,  momentarily  expecting 
that  the  roof  would  fall  in  on  his  head,  or  the 
floor  blow  up  imder  his  feet,  or  some  appall- 
ing catastrophe  of  some  kind  follow ;  but 
nothing  followed.  Everything  was  quiet,  and 
there  seemed  to  be  nothing  to  do  but  go  to 
bed ;  and  so  to  bed  lie  went,  and  slept,  only 
to  dream  that  he  was  shot  through  the  head 
with  a  bell-punch,  and  died  saying,  "  Oh, 
dear  !  " 

The  next  morning,  when  Chimborazo 
came  downstairs,  his  father  said,  "  My  boy,  I 
am  going  to  drive  over  to  your  grandfather's 
farm  this  morning  ;  would  you  like  to  go 
with  me  ?" 

A  drive  to  the  farm  was  one  of  the 
greatest  pleasures  Chimborazo  had,  so  he 
answered  promptly,  "  Oh,  dear  !  " 

"  Oh,  very  well  !  "  said  his  father,  looking 


50  "OH,  DEAR!" 

much  surprised.  "  You  need  not  go,  my  son, 
if  you  do  not  want  to.  I  will  take  Robert 
instead." 

Poor  Chimborazo !  He  had  opened  his 
lips  to  say,  "  Thank  you,  papa.  I  should  like 
to  go  very  much  !  "  and,  instead  of  these  words, 
out  had  popped,  in  his  most  doleful  tone,  the 
now  hated  "  Oh,  dear  !  "  He  sat  amazed  ; 
but  was  roused  by  his  mother's  calling  him 
to  breakfast. 

'•Come,  Chimbo,"  she  said.  "Here  are 
sausages  and  scrambled  eggs :  and  you  are 
very  fond  of  both  of  them.  Which  will  you 
have  ?  " 

Chimborazo  hastened  to  say,  "Sausages, 
please,  mamma,"  -that  is,  he  hastened  to 
try  to  say  it ;  but  all  his  mother  heard  was, 
"Oh,  dear/" 

His  father  looked  much  displeased.  "  Give 
the  boy  some  bread  and  water,  wife,"  he  said 
sternly.  "If  he  cannot  answer  properly,  he 
must  be  taught.  I  have  had  enough  of  this 
1  oh,  dear  !  '  business." 

Poor  Chimborazo  !     He  saw  plainly  enough 


"  OH,    DEAR  !  "  51 

now  what  his  punishment  was  to  be ;  and  the 
thought  of  it  made  him  tremble.  He  tried  to 
ask  for  some  more  bread,  but  only  brought 
out  his  "Oh,  dear  I  "  in  such  a  lamentable  tone 
that  his  father  ordered  him  to  leave  the  room. 
He  went  out  into  the  garden,  and  there  he 
met  John  the  gardener,  carrying  a  basket  of 
rosy  apples.  Oh  !  how  good  they  looked  ! 

"  I  am  bringing  some  of  the  finest  apples 
up  to  the  house,  little  master,"  said  John. 
"  Will  you  have  one  to  put  in  your  pocket  ? " 

"  Oh,  dear ! "  was  all  the  poor  boy  could 
say,  though  he  wanted  an  apple,  oh,  so  much ! 
And  when  John  heard  that  he  put  the  apple 
back  in  his  basket,  muttering  something  about 
ungrateful  monkeys. 

Poor  Chimborazo !  I  will  not  give  the 
whole  history  of  that  miserable  day,  —  a 
miserable  day  it  was  from  beginning  to  end. 
He  fared  no  better  at  dinner  than  at  break- 
fast ;  for  at  the  second  '"  Oh,  dear ! "  his  father 
sent  him  up  to  his  room,  "  to  stay  there  until 
he  knew  how  to  take  what  was  given  him, 
and  be  thankful  for  it."  He  knew  well  enough 


52  "OH,  DEAR!" 

by  this  time;  but  he  could  not  tell  his  father 
so.  He  went  to  his  room,  and  sat  looking 
out  of  the  window,  a  hungry  and  miserable 
boy. 

In  the  afternoon  his  cousin  Will  came  up 
to  see  him.  "Why,  Chimbo  !  "  he  cried.  "Why 
do  you  sit  moping  here  in  the  house,  when  all 
the  boys  are  out?  Come  and  play  marbles 
with  me  on  the  piazza.  Ned  and  Harry  are 
out  there  waiting  for  you.  Come  on  ! " 

o  \j 

"  Oh,  dear  !  "  said  Chimborazo. 

"What's  the  matter?"  asked  Will. 
"Haven't  you  any  marbles?  Never  mind. 
I'll  give  you  half  of  mine, if  you  like.  Come  ! " 

"  Oh,  DEAR  !  "  said  Chimborazo. 

«  Well,"  said  Will,  "  if  that 's  all  you  have 
to  say  when  I  offer  you  marbles,  I  '11  keep 
them  myself.  I  suppose  you  expected  me  to 
give  you  all  of  them,  did  you  ?  I  never  saw 
such  a  fellow  !  "  and  off  he  went  in  a  huff. 

"Well,  Chimborazo,"  said  the  fairy  god- 
mother "  what  do  you  think  of  i  Oh,  dear ! ' 

o  ?> 

now  [ 


OH,    DEAR !  " 


53 


Chimborazo    looked    at    her    beseechingly, 
but  said  nothing. 

"  Finding  that    forty-five   times   was    not 


"  Touching  his  lips  wkh  her  wand." 

enough  for  you  yesterday,  I  thought  I  would 
let  you  have  all  you  wanted  to-day,  you  see," 
said  the  fairy  wickedly. 

The  boy  still  looked  imploringly  at  her, 
but  did  not  open  his  lips. 

"  Well,  well,"   she   said    at   last,   touching 


54  "OH,  DEAR!" 

his  lips  with  her  wand,  "  I  think  that  is  enough 
in  the  way  of  punishment,  though  I  am  sorry 
you  broke  the  bell-punch.  Good-by!  I  don't 
believe  you  will  say  *  Oh,  dear  ! '  any  more." 
And  he  did  n't. 


THE   TRAVELLER,  THE  COOK,   AND 
THE   LITTLE   OLD   MAN. 

ONCE  upon  a  time  there  was  a  little  old 
man  who  lived  in  a  well.  He  was  a 
very  small  little  old  man,  and  the  well  was 
very  deep  ;  and  the  only  reason  why  he  lived 
there  was  because  he  could  not  get  out. 
Indeed,  what  better  reason  could  he  have  ? 

He  had  long  white  hair,  and  a  long  red 
nose,  and  a  long  green  coat ;  and  this  was  all 
he  had  in  the  world,  except  a  three-legged 
stool,  a  large  iron  kettle,  and  a  cook.  There 
was  not  room  in  the  well  for  the  cook  ;  so  she 
lived  on  the  ground  above,  and  cooked  the 
little  old  man's  dinner  and  supper  in  the 
iron  kettle,  and  lowered  them  down  to 
him  in  the  bucket ;  and  the  little  old  man 
sat  on  the  three-legged  stool,  and  ate  what- 
ever the  cook  sent  down  to  him,  with  a 


56  THE    TRAVELLER,    THE    COOK, 

cheerful    heart,    if    it    was    good ;    and    so 
things  went  on  very  pleasantly. 

But  one  day  it  hap- 
pened   that    the    cook 
could   not  find  any- 
thing for  the  old  man's 
dinner.      She    looked 
high,  and  she 
looked  low, 
but  nothing 
could  she  find; 
so  she  was  very 
unhappy;  for 
the  knew  her 
master  would 
be     miserable 
if  he  had  no 
dinner.     She 
sat  down   by 
the  well,  and 

"  The  old  man  thought  it  was  raining.''     \vont  bit  tori  v  • 

and  her  tears  fell  into  the  well  so  fast  that 
the  little  old  man  thought  it  was  raining,  and 
put  up  a  red  cotton  umbrella,  which  he  bor- 


AND    THE    LITTLE    OLD    MAN.  57 

rowed  for  the  occasion.  You  may  wonder 
where  he  borrowed  it ;  but  I  cannot  tell  you, 
because  I  do  not  know. 

Now,  at  that  moment  a  traveller  happened 
to  pass  by,  and  when  he  saw  the  cook  sitting 
by  the  well  and  weeping,  he  stopped,  and  asked 
her  what  was  the  matter.  The  cook  told  him 
that  she  was  weeping  because  she  could  not 
find  anything  to  cook  for  her  master's  dinner. 

"  And  who  is  your  master  ? "  asked  the 
traveller. 

"  He  is  a  little  old  man,"  replied  the  cook ; 
"  and  he  lives  down  in  this  well." 

"  Why  does  he  live  there  ?  "  inquired  the 
traveller. 

''  I  do  not  know,"  answered  the  cook  ;  "  I 
never  asked  him." 

"  He  must  be  a  singular  person,"  said  the 
traveller.  "  I  should  like  to  see  him.  What 
does  he  look  like  ?  " 

But  this  the  cook  could  not  tell  him  ;  for 
she  had  never  seen  the  little  old  man,  having 
come  to  work  for  him  after  he  had  gone  down 
to  live  in  the  well. 


58  THE    TRAVELLER,    THE    COOK, 

"  Does  he  like  to  receive  visitors  ?  "  asked 
the  traveller. 

"  Don't  know,"  said  the  cook.  "  He  has 
never  had  any  to  receive  since  I  have  been 
here." 

"  Humph  !  "  said  the  other.  "  I  think  I  will 
go  down  and  pay  my  respects  to  him.  Will 
you  let  me  down  in  the  bucket  ?  " 

"  But  suppose  he  should  mistake  you  for  his 
dinner,  and  eat  you  up  ?  "  the  cook  suggested. 

"  Pooh  !  "  he  replied.  "  No  fear  of  that ; 
I  can  take  care  of  myself.  And  as  for  his 
dinner,"  he  added,  "  get  him  some  radishes. 
There  are  plenty  about  here.  I  had  nothing 
but  radishes  for  my  dinner,  and  very  good 
they  were,  though  rather  biting.  Let  down 
the  bucket,  please  !  I  am  all  right." 

'•'What  are  radishes?"  the  cook  called 
after  him  as  he  went  down. 

"  Long  red  things,  stupid !  with  green  leaves 
to  them  !  "  he  shouted  ;  and  then,  in  a  mo- 
ment, he  found  himself  at  the  bottom  of  the 
well. 

The  little  old  man  was  delighted  to  see  him, 


AHD    THE   LITTLE    OLD   MAX.  59 

and  told  him  that  he  had  lived  down  there 
forty  years,  and  had  never  had  a  visitor  before 
in  all  that  time. 

"  Why  do  you  live  down  here  ?  "  inquired 
the  traveller. 

"  Because  I  cannot  get  out,"  replied  the 
little  old  man. 

"  But  how  did  you  get  down  here  in  the 
first  place  ?  " 

"Really,"  he  said,  "it  is  so  long  ago  that 
I  hardly  remember.  My  impression  is,  how- 
ever, that  I  came  down  in  the  bucket." 

"Then  why,  in  the  name  of  common-sense," 
said  the  traveller,  "don't  you  go  up  in  the 
bucket?" 

The  little  old  man  sprang  up  from  the 
three-legged  stool,  and  flung  his  arms  around 
the  traveller's  neck.  "  My  dear  friend  ! "  he 
cried  rapturously.  "  My  precious  benefactor  ! 
Thank  you  a  thousand  times  for  those  words ! 
I  assure  you  I  never  thought  of  it  before  !  I 
will  go  up  at  once.  You  will  excuse  me  ?  " 

"Certainly,"  said  the  traveller.  "Go  up 
first,  and  I  will  follow  you." 


60 


THE    TRAVELLER,   THE    COOK, 


The  little  old  man  got  into  the  bucket,  and 
was  drawn  up  to  the  top  of  the  well.  But, 
alas  !  when  the  cook  saw  his  long  red  nose 
and  his  long  green  coat,  she  said  to  herself, 


(i  '  'T  is  an  ill  wind  that  Mows  nobody  any  good  !  ' ' 

"  This  must  be  a  radish  !  how  lucky  I  am  !  " 
and  seizing  the  poor  little  old  man,  she  popped 
him  into  the  kettle  without  more  ado.  Then 
she  let  the  bucket  down  for  the  traveller,  call- 
ing to  him  to  make  haste,  as  she  wanted  to 
send  down  her  master's  dinner. 


AND    THE    LITTLE    OLD    MAN.  61 

Up  came  the  traveller,  and  looking  around, 
asked  where  her  master  was. 

"Where  should  he  be,"  said  the  cook,  "  but 
at  the  bottom  of  the  well,  where  you  left 
him  ?" 

"  What  do  you  mean  ? "  exclaimed  the 
traveller.  "  He  has  just  come  up  in  the 
bucket !  " 

"  Oh !  "  cried  the  cook.  "  Oh  !  oh ! !  o-o-o-h  ! ! ! 
was  that  my  master  ?  Why,  I  thought  he  was 
a  radish,  and  I  have  boiled  him  for  his  own 
dinner !  " 

"  I  hope  he  will  have  a  good  appetite  !  " 
said  the  traveller. 

The  cook  was  a  good  woman,  and  her  grief 
was  so  excessive  that  she  fell  into  the  kettle 
and  was  boiled  too. 

Then  the  traveller,  who  had  formerly  been 
an  ogre  by  profession,  said,  "  'T  is  an  ill  wind 
that  blows  nobody  any  good  !  My  dinner  was 
very  insufficient  ;  "  and  he  ate  both  the  little 
old  man  and  the  cook,  and  proceeded  on  his 
journey  with  a  cheerful  heart. 


UC  SOUTHERN  RE    ON  L   J^I'M  M 

A    001  351  109    2 


•jjiiluj  <i! 

!    11111 


